sometimes i forget to make beautiful things…

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i used to make beautiful things.  the two drawings here were projects i did in high school.  the coliseum was drawn from a picture i took when i went over to rome my senior year and bob marley is just bob marley, and who in their right mind wouldn’t want to draw bob marley? …i mean seriously…

i am a self proclaimed perfectionist, which has been both a blessing and curse all of my (artistic and non-artistic) life.

this post is basically going to be a pretty long rambling of a brain dump…so hang on tight everyone…

i was once in a place of abundant creation day in and day out.  i’m talking: “roll out of bed throw on my demolished moccasins and 5 dollar sunglasses, pile my greasy hair as high as it would go on top of my head and drive to the studio” type creation.  when i say studio, it could mean one of two.  those days it was my academic task to be as creative as my bones would allow.  i danced close to 40 hours a week and worked in the art studio close to 30 hours a week.  my priority was to dump every shade of red, purple, and blue out of my body and onto a canvas as i spun, leaped, and arabesque-ed my way through a dance studio.  then i’d fall asleep and do it all over again.  some days i had nothing to offer to the art gods and other days i could barely sleep because the dirty laundry gave me inspiration for something new to create.

so i experimented A LOT to try to nail down the perfect formula for max artistic productivity… i tried caffeine, i tried excessive sleep, i tried sleep deprivation, i tried drinking while creating, i tried exercising, i tried only allotting certain times to create, i tried buying new art supplies and dance clothes, i tried it all folks….and the stuff that worked one day, didn’t work the next.

so i guess this is my admission that there is absolutely no formula to being a “successful artist”.  so why don’t we all just make beautiful things whenever we can so we can be as full as possible with love and appreciation.  let us take the proverbial shit that gets piled up on our doorsteps and make it something beautiful.  let us document every display of affection, dissatisfaction, frustration, admiration, awe, and pure nirvana in the best way we know how and make something beautiful.

and let us not give a damn about whether or not people care about our beautiful collection of moments and feelings.

that collection is ours to keep, it’s our fuel…so go find the beauty that once filled you and immerse yourself in it once again. go find your drawing of a coliseum…something new and even more beautiful is bound to come out of it.

 

sorry for the dump…but i don’t care what you think because i just made something beautiful.  (see what i did there?)

you’re beautiful. so smile.

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