sometimes i forget to make beautiful things…

photo photo

 

i used to make beautiful things.  the two drawings here were projects i did in high school.  the coliseum was drawn from a picture i took when i went over to rome my senior year and bob marley is just bob marley, and who in their right mind wouldn’t want to draw bob marley? …i mean seriously…

i am a self proclaimed perfectionist, which has been both a blessing and curse all of my (artistic and non-artistic) life.

this post is basically going to be a pretty long rambling of a brain dump…so hang on tight everyone…

i was once in a place of abundant creation day in and day out.  i’m talking: “roll out of bed throw on my demolished moccasins and 5 dollar sunglasses, pile my greasy hair as high as it would go on top of my head and drive to the studio” type creation.  when i say studio, it could mean one of two.  those days it was my academic task to be as creative as my bones would allow.  i danced close to 40 hours a week and worked in the art studio close to 30 hours a week.  my priority was to dump every shade of red, purple, and blue out of my body and onto a canvas as i spun, leaped, and arabesque-ed my way through a dance studio.  then i’d fall asleep and do it all over again.  some days i had nothing to offer to the art gods and other days i could barely sleep because the dirty laundry gave me inspiration for something new to create.

so i experimented A LOT to try to nail down the perfect formula for max artistic productivity… i tried caffeine, i tried excessive sleep, i tried sleep deprivation, i tried drinking while creating, i tried exercising, i tried only allotting certain times to create, i tried buying new art supplies and dance clothes, i tried it all folks….and the stuff that worked one day, didn’t work the next.

so i guess this is my admission that there is absolutely no formula to being a “successful artist”.  so why don’t we all just make beautiful things whenever we can so we can be as full as possible with love and appreciation.  let us take the proverbial shit that gets piled up on our doorsteps and make it something beautiful.  let us document every display of affection, dissatisfaction, frustration, admiration, awe, and pure nirvana in the best way we know how and make something beautiful.

and let us not give a damn about whether or not people care about our beautiful collection of moments and feelings.

that collection is ours to keep, it’s our fuel…so go find the beauty that once filled you and immerse yourself in it once again. go find your drawing of a coliseum…something new and even more beautiful is bound to come out of it.

 

sorry for the dump…but i don’t care what you think because i just made something beautiful.  (see what i did there?)

you’re beautiful. so smile.

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sometimes I forget to embrace my inner foodie…

is your mouth watering yet? (don’t answer that) I’ve decided to do anther follow up post to my New Years resolutions.

let’s just say I’m giving Martha a run for her money lately. (see photos below) I’ve taken to committing at least one night of the week to trying a new recipe that I almost always find on Pinterest.

(do you pin? because you should! and when you start you should absolutely follow me I’ll hook you up with all the fiexins)

anywho- back to the goods. the foods you see below have all been made from scratch (besides, of course, the grapefruit) I encourage you to give this a try as it’s one of the most rewarding, satisfying, treats you could give yourself and your loved ones that are lucky enough to be in the house while you’re exploring your inner Julia.

stepping off the soapbox and into the shower. start cookin’ y’all – and be kind, it feels better.

tuna burgers
chicken asparagus roll-ups

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sometimes i forget…about this.

the best song to run to….ever. (only the live version)

there’s something about this live performance that moves me from the inside out. so i obviously felt the need to share it with y’all. maybe it’s the fact that she looks like a red-headed Calisi (game of thrones reference), maybe it’s her super sweet dance moves, or maybe – just maybe – it’s the fact that she can turn a techno song into an inspirational, soul-seeking ballad at the drop of a hat.

or maybe it’s just some undefined, inspired energy that she spews. i dunno.

listen. dig it. keep it. use it.

sometimes i forget…to be a big old mess

20s

basically:  “hi, my name is chelsea, i’m 27 years old, and i’m a mess.” 

sometimes i forget that i’m allowed to be a big old heaping pile of a mess.

i have nothing figured out.  i don’t know what i want to do when i grow up, i don’t consider myself grown up, and i despise what i do now. i never have enough money.  i have an eternal mountain of laundry (clean and dirty combined) living on my floor.  we have a dresser as a counter top in our kitchen, and the dresser is filled with very old, very unopened mail. i have dirty dishes on top of the stove 50% of the time.  i’m writing a blog in the middle of my work day because i want to.  i always wear my heart on my sleeve.  i have a moldy clementine that resides next to my laptop at work, and there’s a good chance it will start to grow legs and walk away.  the list goes on my friends and i’m sure that i have struck a cord with at least one of you reading this.  

here’s the breakdown that i’m just beginning to realize.  these things are better than okay.  these things are who i am, and let’s face it, these things are who i will always be to some degree.   we will always be criticized for something…so why not own it and be proud of the most unconventional, inconvenient, inconsistent, and all around disastrous parts of who you are.  (BONUS: it will infuriate the people criticizing you)

i don’t even know the point i’m trying to make with this blog post, other than….take inventory of your own personal mess (it’s really liberating) and always, always allow yourself some room to fuck up, whether you’re in your twenties or eighties.

BE A MESSY FOOL EVERYONE!  and love yourself along the way- seemingly perfect people are no fun.

mess. mess. mess.  (just in case i haven’t used that word enough in the last 5 minutes.)

happy living y’all!

sometimes i forget…about my new years resolutions

…but not this year!  this year i’ve dedicated 2014 to 5 very gradual and very important changes.

1. learn to be a penny saver.

this is something i’ve always had a hard time with.  my motto has always been “have money, will spend”.  after a couple of decades with this mentality i’m slowly realizing this is not the ideal way to start a new life with someone.  luckily for me (and justin) the company we work for has recently implemented a quarterly profit sharing plan, and are both also juggling an extra job (or two) on the side.  our goal is to open a savings account and deposit any money not given in the form of a bi-weekly paycheck.  so far so good….”new home fund” here we come!

2. tend to your most valuable ASSet.

a new year’s resolution list would be incomplete without healthier living on there.  it has been my experience that quality of life increases when regularly incorporating exercise to your weekly routine.  that being said, it is my mission to dedicate at least three days a week to both weight lifting and cardio, no matter how small or short the workout.  i have found that when i actually put an appointment on my calendar that reminds me of my gym date, it takes a lot of the stress off.  the time has been set aside (no more hemming and hawing about when would be the best time to go), and it is being treated like any other appointment on the calendar- it can not be missed.

3. become a little more like martha.

…no i don’t mean insider trading.  i mean steering away from the same 4 meals that my poor fiance has been forced to eat every week over and over again. (always with a gracious smile on his face and much praise to the cook, might i add)  this past Christmas i was given a couple of great cookbooks that i have flipped through a few times and have more than a few bookmarks sticking out of.  my cookbook collection nearing completion, it is time i got to work.  i will post my successes (and failures) with pictures and reviews of the recipe…stay tuned!

4. read more books.

before this year i have always been a big reader of magazines, news articles, blogs, etc.  but never BOOKS.  i am going to commit to reading one book a month.  i know this doesn’t seem like a large goal, but believe me – it will be huge for me to find the time each month to dedicate to this.  once again, so far so good.  i am just finishing up the book “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn. (excellent read, i highly recommend it).  my secret i’ve discovered that’s been helping me achieve this resolution: iBooks.  i have my phone on me all of the time and therefore, have my book on me all of the time.  whenever i find myself waiting around, with a couple swipes of my finger i have both the book i am reading and a digital book store at my disposal.  i know there are purists out there that don’t believe in digital reading (“i like to actually hold the book and flip through the pages.”) that may read as slightly snarky, but it comes from an understanding place…i was once there too.  never thought i’d own a kindle or download an app on my phone…boy was i wrong.  that’s not to say that i don’t enjoy holding an actual book once and a while, but over all the convenience and money saving aspect of digital literature has won me over.  like they say, “don’t knock it ’till you try it.”

5. cultivate my creative side.

this is by far the most important resolution i’ve made to myself.  for the last few years or so this has not been a priority in my life.  big mistake. with the help of my lovely, extremely creative, beautiful mother, i realized that all of my creative juices were sitting in a pool at the center of my body.  stagnant.  thanks to her listening to me gripe and moan (on just about a daily basis) about how i was feeling un-fulfilled and unsatisfied in my professional life, she clued me in.  “you need to let your creative energy OUT!” duh chelsea… so here i am writing a blog.  step #1: complete.  once again – stay tuned for upcoming projects, both completed and in progress.